


The Fatal Flaw

by crocodilepatronus



Category: DC Comics, DCU (Comics), Secret History - Donna Tartt, Smallville, Supergirl (Comics), Supergirl (TV 2015), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College, F/F, Multi, University
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-08 06:53:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11076312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crocodilepatronus/pseuds/crocodilepatronus
Summary: Kara Danvers attends a prestigious university where she feels she doesn't fit in until a chance encounter with a fellow student, Lena Luthor, changes her life irrevocably leading them both spiraling into a dark and complex web of self discovery, lies, secrets, and murder.Loosely inspired by Donna Tart's "The Secret History"





	1. symbol, coincidence, premonition, omen

Looking back she would wonder where it started, where it ended, what was the ‘middle’, where had things gone wrong. Tracing back through lines like constellations, connecting moments like star bursts that stung bright and vibrant in her memory.

 

Had it been at the school, had it started with something as banal as signing paper work? She could remember how big it had seemed once, tall ivy coated stone buildings that seemed to touch the sky, because she’d had no perception of ‘sky’ then. The air, though, that she could remember accurately- in the midst of the turn over between summer and fall, balmy but with the scent of nature’s decay like an edge. She remembered the way everyone had seemed so beautiful and unapproachable then, so ** _invincible_**. The hug of Calvin Klein on trim, athletic, bodies, the click of Louboutins on freshman girls- wearing their most expensive heels to class as a show of dominance on their first week. They all had long eyelashes, and french nails, and not a wrinkle to be seen on their clothes. Kara was equal parts terrified of them and in awe of them. Boys in boat shoes spinning down the campus roads well over the speed limit in shiny convertibles- glib smile full of blindingly white teeth, bronze hair fluttering in the wind, Ray Ban sunglasses. A dangerous animal.

 

Back then they’d all seemed so rich and powerful, not fragile and breakable the way Kara saw them now. She thought she’d never be able to touch them. What a stupid thing to worry about.

 

Maybe it had started before she’d arrived. The memories of that didn’t stand out in such stark relief. Banal worry. Reassurances from her sister (“Just because they’re rich doesn’t mean all of them are snobby. And there will be lots of other scholarship students like you. You can’t let things like this intimidate you. I know you kick ass, we all do, your grades clearly know it, the college’s ‘you got in’ letter knows it, so- now the only person who needs to know it is you.” a kiss on the forehead “You’ll be great. And if anyone gives you trouble, you know Clark will just kick their ass.”). The heady mix of anxiety and excitement. Wondering what to do with her hands and ending up doing too much- chewing down her nails, smoothing her palms over her clothes, fiddling with her hair, adjusting her glasses. Smiling too wide for her ID photo.

 

She could only go back so far on her own. Her earliest memories were awash with confusion. An adopted child. A sister who didn’t share her blood but who she shared everything else that mattered with. An older cousin, handsome and kind and self assured- her only known blood relative. He’d been adopted by another family but he’d always been a part of her life, even if kept at a distance. He’d visit her. Ask how she was, ruffle her hair, as if he were a brother. Always there had been something reticent in him that she should have noticed, but she was just a child. A concern that edged beyond normal. Piecing blue eyes that always scanned over her, as if he was waiting for something to happen.

 

Other times, she visited him. A long and bumpy bus ride to a farm that she thought of as a second home. Warm apple pie with a scoop of vanilla icecream melting on top, the smell of hay, the tassles on top of corn stalks swaying in the wind that seemed to go on for miles, as endless as a wave across the ocean’s surface. Clark’s hand- huge and warm and strong- placed between her shoulder blades guiding her as she tried not to get her feet imbedded in the mud as they walked through the fields to pet her favorite cow. Lying in the grass with shoulders touching, looking up at a sky that seemed so vibrant and endless that it could only be a painted picture or a blanket, layed carefully over their town, enveloping it from all sides. “You know you can tell me anything, right? Anything at all. I’m your family. Even if… even if it’s something that scares you.” But there had been nothing to tell back then. She was a normal girl. A normal girl who felt embarassed sometimes when she laughed because she thought it looked ‘geeky’, who pushed green vegetables to the other side of her plate, who had a slight astigmatism even.

 

She’d always felt like the sky was part of her. The hours she’d spent connecting the dots of stars, finding shapes and creatures in the forms of the clouds, breathing in so deep it felt like it could all be sucked into her lungs. But she’d never realized back then how the sky was closer to her beginning than any quiet, loving, household or any mud between her toes, or even the brush of her sister’s hair against her cheek. Most people take the setting of their beginning for granted. Surely she couldn’t have been expected to guess that where it started wasn’t even on earth.

 

Or… the story could start with blood. Sticky warmth flooding over her, inescapable and nauseating. So much more vividly colored and slippery than she ever could’ve imagined. It could start with the scream she didn’t know was coming from her own mouth and the hand that went over her lips to stifle it. But no, for argument’s sake, Kara thought- that must be the middle.

 

Because when everything that had truly mattered began was love at first sight. That was the beginning of the story Kara would’ve wanted to tell. With love. Occuring like a big bang. All in one moment, how everything could become new and fresh. And how her chest had never felt that light and that stricken simultaneously.

 

The first time she saw her was in profile- a sleek curtain of dark hair, a slash of dark lipstick on a pale face. The gentle curve of her shoulder, the line of her nose… She turned her head, stunning green eyes, her lips quirked up slightly at the edges- not quite a smile, and her eyes flicked over Kara, her eyelashes dark and stark against her cheek. Kara was never the same again.

 

She could’ve been cut from marble. Sharp jaw and cheekbones, an elegant long neck, the full lips. She carried herself with a self assuredness that was foreign to Kara herself. One hand rested on the stone ledge of a stained glass window, the other held a tumbler of scotch loosely. She was all alone, even amidst the sea of people talking and drinking and shouting on the stairwell. But the expression on her face told Kara that it was of little consequence to her. A common occurrence, maybe even a preference. She was a creature from a Greek tragedy. The heroine.

 

Kara couldn’t remember how long she’d been holding her breath but when she finally inhaled it felt like it had been ages and ages. To her horror the girl was sauntering over to her, the same half smile perfectly at home on her lips.

“You look set adrift.” She said. But her voice was kind. She met Kara’s eyes with a gaze that didn’t waver.

 

“Am I that obvious?” Kara huffed a laugh, smoothing her palms down the sides of her skirt in an attempt to smooth some imagined wrinkle. “Uh- I don’t really. This isn’t-. My cousin is here, somewhere, and I don’t really-“ she began babbling.

 

“So this isn’t really your ‘scene’ you mean?” She asked, leaning one shoulder against the wall, her half smile developing into a genuine smirk now, the glass of scotch still precariously dangling from slender fingertips.

 

“Oh, well-“ Kara took a deep breath to make room for a new set of ramblings. “I just, I don’t really know any- and I mean, in high school I was never like the-“ she stopped herself. She could be cool Kara. Somewhere deep down some version of herself like that existed. She forced herself to press her lips together and just nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, this isn’t really my scene.”

 

The other girl’s eyes were glittering with private amusement. They seemed to reflect all the little lights in the room. “Well, then we’re kindred spirits.” she said.

 

Someone in a toga a few feet away let out some sort of war cry and the surrounding throng began chanting “chug, chug, chug”.

 

The dark haired girl smile again, shaking her head and leaned forward, brushing her fingertips against Kara’s wrist. “C’mon” she said and with no knowledge of where she was being taken, Kara followed.

 

The party was in a dorm that was a converted castle. All the walls were stone, the ceilings cathedralized and hanging with ornate chandeliers, every window was stained glass and the floors all mahogany. The dark haired girl walked through it with complete ease, navigating them between turned over kegs, throngs of party goers, and puddles of spilled drinks. Until finally they got to a large wooden door which she opened with a brass key from her pocket. Kara thought, rather hysterically, that it felt like a fairy tale adventure but with more puking and togas. The other girl ushered her in after and shut the door. It was a secondary lounge, though apparently one shut off to the public as it was empty. The overhead lights were off but the entire opposite wall was made up of ceiling to floor tudor style arched windows and moonlight filtered through them onto the floor in the colors and patterns of the stained glass- purple and red and blue like walking into a kaleidoscope.

 

“It’s beautiful in here.” Kara whispered.

 

“It’s a good place to catch your breath. You sort of looked like you needed it.” the girl chuckled, placing her scotch down on a side table and sliding into a leather couch. She moved with impossible grace. Kara perched on the other side of the couch, folding her hands awkwardly in her lap.

 

“I did.” Kara said, once again feeling like she was actually breathing for the first time in days and days. Maybe the oxygen was just effecting her differently now. Everything seemed vivid and fuzzy at the same time, she wondered if it was possible to become drunk second hand. “So you uh… live here? This dorm?” Kara asked, waving one hand around to gesture to the space.

 

“Yes.” she said. She propped her arm up on the edge of the couch and leaned her head to one side slightly, almost like a tic, her eyes lingering over Kara as if she were the most interesting thing in the world. Kara didn’t know what her eyes were doing. She didn’t want to know. Her gaze flickered all over the girl spasmodically, not sure what to take in first, not wanting to stay anywhere for too long.

 

“I’ve always wanted to see what it looked like inside of here.” Kara explained. “It always looks so beautiful from the outside. All those gothic archways and stone balconies. My cousin’s uh- dating someone who lives here so he comes here all the time but I’ve never been inside until tonight.”

 

“Oh?” the girl’s lips quirked up, a strangely familiar expression on the face of such an otherwise otherwordly being- gossip lust. “And who is your cousin? I may have seen him about.”

 

Embarassment immediately flooded over Kara at having said too much. She’d tried so hard to avoid living in her older cousins’s shadow at school but it was a difficult task to accomplish.

 

“Oh, he’s-“ she began stumbling over her words as she tried to think of a way to avoid the topic but the other girl interrupted her, seeing her distress.

 

“I’m sorry, I’ve taken you away. Should we go back into the fray to look for him? I’m sure I can help you find him, if you like. This is my brother’s party-”

 

Kara was still stuttering excuses when the words finally registered in her brain. They looked at each other and as Kara’s astonishment registered on her own face, she saw the embarassment she’d just been experiencing fill the other girl’s.

 

“This… your brother…” Kara took a deep breath. “Oh my god.”

 

Of course she had a secret key to secret rooms and held herself with such grace. Their name was on a plaque to the dorm. Luthor Mansion.

 

“You’re Lex’s sister.” Kara confirmed out loud.

 

The girl winced awkwardly, biting down on her lip. She gave a sort of half shrug.

 

“No, no,” Kara started, putting her hands up as if in a gesture of comfort. “I just mean- you’re going to laugh.”

 

The other’s eyebrow lifted skeptically.

 

“My cousin’s Clark Kent.”

 

And she did laugh. A musical, lovely, sound, Kara noted.

 

“Your uh… Your brother’s dating my cousin.” Kara lamely announced the obvious as the other girl continued laughing.

 

“Oh, how serendipitous. It’s so strange that I don’t know your face by now. My apologies. I’m Lena.” the directness of her gaze when she offered her hand, smile fresh off of her laughter showing all bright teeth, made Kara’s heart palpitate. She shook the hand, feeling awkward in the formalness of the gesture.

 

“Kara Danvers.” she offered in return, with a small nod.

 

It felt strange to know that they were in some ways a sort of extended family. It only pushed the lingering sense that their meeting was fated. Kara felt that deeply, in a way that warmed her bones.

 

Since coming to the college, Kara had spent some time with Clark- being shown around and having lunch to ‘catch up’ but he had his own established friend groups, his own agenda, and he always seemed like he was running in from or rushing out toward somewhere that she could not follow. And she’d only caught glimpses of his enegmatic boyfriend- the slender, bald, aristocrat who was so notorious on campus. And never had they been formally introduced.

 

“I know your cousin, in that case.” Lena went on, smiling more openly now. “My brother and I are both actually quite private people deep down if you can believe that. He doesn’t have many close friends and even fewer of them he would deem a good enough influence to dare introducing me to. So I was actually quite pleased to make Clark’s aquaintance. He’s certainly a rarity- in more ways than just that, I mean. He’s very…” she tapped her finger against her lips once, thoughtfully.

 

“Handsome?” Kara attempted to finish for her dryly.

 

Lena looked up in surprise and laughed incredulously. “That’s not what I was going to say.”

 

Kara shook her head. “Sorry. Just- ever since I’ve come here, everyone knows me as ‘Oh- isn’t your cousin the one who looks like an Abercrombie and Fitch model?’ It’s exhausting.”

 

Lena smirked, her eyes glancing over Kara once before she said with significance- “He’s really not my type, actually.”

 

“Oh.” Kara breathed.

 

“I was going to say that he’s mysterious.” Lena finished her thought from before, taking another sip from her drink.

 

The word made the hair on the back of Kara’s neck stand up. Yes, Clark was mysterious, wasn’t he? But it was rare that she heard other people describe him that way. Usually it was- ‘Clark is so kind’, ‘Clark is so wholesome’, ‘Clark is such a lovely young man’. It felt like a betrayal to think anything else of him. Especially when he was her only blood. But while he may have been kind and lovely, he was something else too. And Kara had never been able to put her finger on what that something else was.

 

“Yeah.” she agreed quietly.

 

“Are the two of you close?”

 

Summers with her toes squished in the mud of the Kent farm driveway. Rubbing corn silk against her cheek as Pa told her it looked just like her hair. The heat from Clark’s back even through his flannel shirt as he gave her piggyback rides around the barn.

 

“Sort of.” she said distantly. She blinked and forced a smile. “What about you and your brother?”

 

Lena seemed to suppress a scoff. “I suppose he’s a bit infamous on campus. He has a bad habit of making enemies, I think he’s always been like that. But Lex has always been very good to me. He’s only my half brother, you know. I was adopted into his family when he was already living away at boarding school. All the same, we’ve always got along.” she gave a teasing smirk. “So I guess we’re ‘sort of’ close as well.” she said, repeating Kara’s words.

 

“It’s a bit of pressure, huh?” Kara finally levelled, wincing. “I mean part of the appeal of coming to school here was that I wanted the comfort of having someone I knew already to be able to show me around, introduce me to people. But really, I think it can be a handicap. You don’t get to go in fresh. People already have this unavoidable idea about you.”

 

Lena shrugged. “Why not just treat it as a challenge? And there’s no such thing as unavoidable.”

 

Kara laughed incredulously. “Isn’t there?”

 

 

 

Lena seemed to ponder this deeply and finally said, “Well, maybe there is. But sometimes unavoidable things are what makes life interesting. I suppose if everything were avoidable I’m afraid I might do nothing at all.”

 

Kara nodded her head slowly. “That’s fair.”

 

“Take this party for example. I live in this dorm… but I could leave if I really wanted to… And there are worse hardships than free booze and a little loud music on a Saturday night.”

 

Almost on cue someone outside accidentally body slammed the door, making it shake on its hinges, followed up by the sound of muffled raucous laughter.

 

The dark haired girl smiled. “To be quite honest I find them rather charming. I don’t think I’ve ever let loose like that. I envy the experience.”

 

And then the way she’d first seen her on the stairwell seemed to make perfect sense. The gentle smile on her face as she stood all alone, staring out at the sea of grinding sweaty party goers.

 

“Living vicariously through toga parties?” Kara offered.

“Something like that.”

“You’re an observer.”

“And you’re an odd one out.”

 

Kara blinked. Lena quirked an eyebrow, as if waiting and hoping for an outraged response.

 

“When I saw you.” she continued, “You stuck out like a sore thumb.”

 

Kara forced a huff of laughter and said with a note of bitterness “Well. Nervous scholarship student at one of the most expensive universities in the country. It will happen.”

 

Lena laughed and shook her head. “No, not at all. It wasn’t that.” she made a humming noise at the back of her throat as she mulled over a way to verbalize her thoughts, picking up her tumbler and rubbing her thumb along the rim of it. “You were… You kept looking around the room and doing little-“ she moved one of her hands in an impression of nervous, abortive, hand gestures, that were all too familiar to Kara as being her own. “It was like that part of your body was all nerves but. Your face.” she nodded almost resolutely. “Somehow all that didn’t match the expression on your face. Everyone else at this party is scared but they’re just better at pretending. You didn’t seem like you were pretending. But you didn’t seem scared either. Not like they are. Something about…” she smiled, meeting Kara’s gaze, “Your eyes I suppose. Gives off a sense of courage.”

 

Courage. Not a word Kara would automatically associate with herself. Yet when she thinks back on bullies she’s held facedown in the dirt until they apologized, of pursing her lips and keeping her chin steady under the scrutiny of her adopted parents when they thought she wasn’t watching them the first few months- before they really knew her, of jumping off the highest point of the Kent’s barn for the thrill of it when she was 12 and the hysterical laughter that bubbled up out of her as ma and pa kent frantically checked her for broken bones and scolded her…. she could see it.

 

But the word seemed as surreal as the rest of the night. Her wild fairytale fantasy shifted and took new shapes- her as the chivalrous knight, full of COURAGE, the dark haired woman the mysterious princess in her tower, shrouded in moonlight, looking at Kara with too perceptive eyes over her shoulder. And then who was to be the dragon…?

 

Kara nodded slowly. “Okay. Alright. Courage, huh? I can accept that compliment.”

 

“Yes. Courage, I think, is different than bravery.” Lena continued. “Bravery, in my mind, suggests that one is facing something to be feared at that very moment. Courage is the innate capacity to rise to the occasion to face fears bravely as they come.” she smiled at her own words. “If that makes sense.”

 

Kara re-assessed the girl before her. Re-assesd. Foolish. She’d been assessing her and re-assessing her since the moment she laid eyes on her. Unable to look away. But she tilted her head once more to look at her again. Lena was relaxed in a way that Kara could never be. Or at least she was faking relaxation better than Kara ever could. Her body fell as fluidly as a piece of fabric over the leather couch, effortlessly louche. The moonlight seemed drawn to her skin. In the moment of silence between them she was unperturbed. Like they were old friends, and a space without conversation was of no consequence.

 

It was nearly too intimate. There was something abnormal about the night. Like it was already a memory, even as it occurred. As if it was just a start of an orbit, events and words occuring on a predestined trajectory- to what? She didn’t know. But the weight of them seemed evident.

 

“Is there something I should be afraid of?” Kara asked.

 

Lena’s eyes turned to her, slowly. Green as emeralds but almost bestial in the way they luminated and maintained color even when the rest of her face was washed out in moonlight, anemically pale even down to her lips. Which parted. Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked down abruptly.

 

Whatever ease had existed, that strange familiarity that had been holding them together in the room since they’d first spoken to each other, turned cold all of a sudden. And Kara shivered, rubbing one hand over her arm idley.

 

“Maybe.” Lena answered under her breath.

 

 _If you’re ever unsure of yourself… you can tell me. If something strange happens. Even if you’re scared_ \- Kara closed her eyes. She’d spent her whole life asking that question, never allowing herself to vocalize it: what is there to be afraid of?

 

But why did Lena react that way? Maybe that was natural too. ‘Luthor blood is poison’ that’s what people said. Lionel Luthor was as cold blooded a businessman as they come and implicated in a number of crimes he’d gotten away with. The newspapers never went long without there being a mention of the Luthor name. Kara had known them before she’d started attending the same school as them. Before her cousin had started dating the heir apparent.

 

She’d seen pictures of them. The father, middle aged but still dashing, a charisma that carried itself even through still photographs. She’d seen the mother’s cruel, tight lipped, mouth, in the background. Not a hair out of place, a neutral expression like a mask, but eyes that showed fierceness. Their son- who the media had taken turns purpoting as a sickly freak, a child prodigy, a bad boy, a reckless party animal, a young genius, in line to be the greatest new entrepeneur of the century, depending on the month, in cycles, depending on whether Lex had most recently created a new theorem on astrophysics or crashed his porsche into the side of a Metropolis night club…. And what of Lena?

 

Kara had never seen a photo of Lena before that she could remember. Though she’d heard the name. It had been rather a scandal when an illegitimate daughter had been brought to light and then accepted into the family. It had confirmed to the wider public, as if any confirmation was necessary, that Lionel was a snake and now he was a casanova to boot. That had been what the focus was on. Lionel and Lillian. Never Lena. Maybe that was on purpose- a merciful thing.

It floated into Kara’s memory that she did remember reading once about Lena when the scandal had first hit. In the midst of an article trying to paint Lionel as a benevolent father figure for taking her in, it mentioned ‘Lena Luthor, the child in question, is a bright, straight A student’.

 

Hardly a description of character. It was about as much information as one gets about the people featured in mathematics word problems. ‘Lena Luthor is a bright, straight A student and she has 4 pieces of cake she wants to divide among her friends-’

 

Kara wondered, if she hadn’t figured it out earlier when Lena had said it was her brother’s party… would she have ever introduced herself by name? When? How long would she wait into the conversation? Long enough for Kara to form her own opinions? Long enough that it would feel like a deception?

 

Because for better or for worse, it did raise questions for Kara. Not the type that it may have for other people, she was sure. Kara had no judgement. What she did have was a wealth of curiosity. What did it feel like?

 

Kara had once cried all night when she was a child after being at elementary school for several months. When her sister had asked what had been wrong she’d answered ‘everyone thinks we’re sisters because we have the same last name. But we’re not REALLY sisters, are we? We didn’t come from the same place. And now I’m lying to everyone. But I don’t want anyone to find out.’ and her sister had dutifully wiped the tears and snot from her face and said with seriousness ‘of COURSE we’re real sisters.’

 

And like so many conversations that had started in tears, that was the end of it. Kara wondered often if she was a child who was too easily comforted. Or had had a sister who was too shrewd and convincing. How many times had she let something be pushed aside, allowed herself to be soothed, instead of delving into it deeper?

 

She’d been scared that night, crying, not because of insecurity about her place in the family but in how others would see her and how they would react to knowing she lived with people who were not HER people… The question that would seem to logically arise would be: if they aren’t your parents, then what happened to the real ones? Are they dead? Or were you not good enough for them? Did they love you more than the parents you have now?

 

The Danvers tucked Kara into bed all through her childhood. Laid kisses on her forehead. Packed her lunch for school with the things she liked. Sang Happy Birthday to her. Hugged her so hard it left her sore.

 

But even amidst all that, there was always the thought. Was this the be all end all of parental love? Kara imagined her birth parents… and thought, ‘is there any way they could have loved me more? If they’d been here?’ The thought was horrifying in its selfishness. And had to be repressed.

 

But Lena knew. Lena had grown up with a birth mother only to lose her and be thrust into a cold, poisonous, anemic family. Where lack of love may not have even been the primary concern as much as need for survival was. Kara thought of the calculated, handsome, family photos printed in the magazines of the Luthors. And imagined that being adopted by those people would be no less than being dropped into a pit of snakes.

 

But here Lena was, a Luthor too. Even in blood. A distinction that while Kara knew only the barest threads of, she also knew could be the most mystifying social link a person can have. Clark was in many ways so strange to her- she was sure she’d never understand him. And yet she was like him. In ways she was still struggling to comprehend. She looked at him like a carnival mirror. You’re me, but you’re not me. Where am I in you? Where are you in me? Where are our parents? What happened to us? What are you? What am I … becoming?

 

Lena had to do that too. She had to look at a father who was universally both reviled and admired. A tactician but a tyrant. A charming monster. A modern king but bankrupt of morals. ‘Lionel Luthor Absorbs Family Run Businesses By Day, Wears Armani And Smiles At The Camera At Charity Balls By Night’, every headline seemed to sourly redact the implied ending of ‘The Utter Bastard…’.

 

That was her blood. Her past, her creation, her future.

 

Or her brother- only slightly more ambiguous, at least from the media’s perspective. Seen first as a creature of pity- freakish for his lack of hair, afflicted by some unknown illness possibly, maybe even a cause of public sympathy for Lionel- his retribution for years of wickedness. Then he’d been the prodigy- child mensa, ’12 year old Luthor heir beats chess grand master’, small photos in publications of a smug adolescent looking blasé about his victories. Following had been the inevitable breakdowns. It had become public knowledge that he’d been kicked out of several elite private schools- not for his academic performance, which continued to be outstanding- but for bad behavior, anti social tendencies. By the time he was 17 he was already a regular figure in the gossip pages and the press surrounding him was mostly negative. Following in the footsteps of his father. Or maybe even worse than his father. A precocious young sociopath but with no self restraint- getting arrested, overdosing, crashing cars, rehab. Headlines read ‘Young Luthor Sets Bar For Teenage Rebellion’. And that was Lena’s blood brother. Who she’d never known until it was too late to really know someone as a brother. How much of him was in her? Did Lena look at Lex and see a carnival mirror reflection? And was she pleased with what she saw? Or revolted?

 

Luthor blood was poison. Kara’s blood was… a mystery. Unknown substance.

 

Two ticking time bombs, in a dark empty room.

 

“I don’t know anything about you.” Kara said.

 

“We’ve only just met, there’s still time.” Lena made light, but her smile had stopped reaching her eyes.

 

“No, I meant… I’ve always heard about Lex, and your parents, in the paper and such.” Kara continued boldly. Her hands didn’t twitch, her eyes remained level. Somehow in Lena’s presence she felt stripped of some façade she hadn’t really known was a façade. And a stillness replaced it.

 

She studied Lena’s face for a change of expression. The dark haired girl smiled, utterly calm and unperturbed.

 

“Yes.” she agreed.

 

Kara huffed out a laugh. “I don’t think I even knew you went to this school.”

 

“I keep to myself.”

 

She kept Kara’s gaze and for some reason, it felt like they were sparring, though the conversation seemed innocent enough. But if they were sparring then Lena was the one who submitted first, as she sighed and picked up her tumbler, swishing it once and peering into its contents without taking a drink.

 

“I’m studying bio-engineering and computer science.” she offered without prompting.

 

“You’re smart.” Kara deduced, stating it as a fact, not as a compliment.

 

“I am.” Lena returned, once again stating it as a fact and not a brag. Though her lips did quirk up at the corners when she added, “When I was 11 I started being able to beat my brother at chess. He was already in high school then, and had bested a grand master.”

 

She leaned her head on her hand. “I was sent to an all girls boarding school. Awful affair. They made us wear pleated skirts everyday. I caused a bit of trouble there but it was hard to out do Lex on that front. I think my minor offenses of skipping class, returning library books too late, and sneaking vodka back to the dorm all seemed rather wholesome comparatively. They never made the papers and I was glad of that.”

 

“Do you not want to be seen by the media?”

 

“Not until it’s on my terms. For something I’ve earned.”

 

The comfort in their silence had returned. Kara leaned her neck on the back of the leather couch, delighting in the way it pushed against her spine. Her foot was falling asleep tucked under her leg. It had been some time since they’d heard anyone chanting ‘chug!’ from the other side of the door.

 

“You’re a bit like a reporter yourself.” Lena commented. “Is it strange to feel like I’m being interviewed or is this how normal relationships become instigated?”

 

Kara grinned. “What’s normal?”

 

“Nothing tonight, it seems.”

 

Kara turned her head back to look at her, the angle different now that her neck was bent back. Still impossibly lovely. Still unreadable and straight forward in a way that left Kara feeling in her core a twisted mixture of curiosity and satiation. She wanted to know her, and yet even as she was, she liked her none the less. The image that her mind held. The enigma. Was its own reward.

 

“Yeah. The air feels different.” Kara whispered. She turned her head toward the window. “The sky looks different.”

 

The other girl chuckled. “So you feel that too?”

 

Kara glanced back at her, wide eyed. “It’s not just me, is it?”

 

“Well the two of us are in this room together, aren’t we?”

 

Kara thought about it. The noise outside the door had died down considerably but she could hear voices and clattering, muffled behind the huge oak frame as if the party were occuring miles away. For all she knew the room could be suspended in space. And the window’s view of the velvet blanket of the night sky with stars so bright they seemed closer than anything real, was no assurance of their position on the ground.

 

Kara sat up on her haunches and leaned over the back of the couch, until her face was closer to the window. It was a whimsical compulsion. She wasn’t sure why she followed through on it. But experimentally she took of her reading glasses, perching them in her hair.

 

At first she squinted, the familiar effect of having the world go into a blur of shapes and colors like it had been painted with harsh brushstrokes, settling in. But then… to her amazement, it began to change. And the more she blinked and squinted, things began to come into focus. As if she were wearing glasses again. No- even more clear than she’d ever been able to see with her glasses.

 

God, suddenly every star felt like she could reach out and touch its warmth. Everything in the universe was burning for her.

 

“This is…”

 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

 

Kara forced her gaze away to look back at Lena who was smiling serenely at her and wondered what kind of spell she’d been under. If she was experiencing what she was experiencing, everything so transformed, or if Kara was going mad.

 

“Are you seeing this?” she asked with a hint of apprehension.

 

Lena quirked an eyebrow at her. “The stars?”

 

Kara looked around the room, shaking her head slightly. “No… everything.”

 

And not just seeing. Hearing. She blinked and could hear a slosh of beer in a cup outside like a crash of an ocean wave. Could hear the bed strings creak on the third floor under a pair of one-night lovers. “Terry…” the girl whimpered against his neck. He groaned in response. She could smell sweat from all sides, the perfume daintily applied to Lena’s collarbone- floral but with a spicy kick- perfectly elegant, she could smell the sharp, musky, scent of polished mahogany as if her face was pressed up against the floor.

 

Then Lena touched her hand gently. And she was staring at her with full lips parted. Kara swore she could feel the gentle inhale, exhale, as if it was being breathed against her neck. The bat of her eyelashes as if they were running up her thigh.

 

 

“Kara…” her voice was filled with concern now. “Are you… sorry, but I have to ask this… are you on something right now? Are you drunk?”

 

Kara stared at her wide eyed. “I’ve never even smoked pot before.” she mumbled vaguely.

Which made Lena laugh. Kara put her glasses back on and blinked several times. She was surprised to find that things became blurry again when she put them on, as if she’d just taken them OFF instead. So she nervously removed them once more and tucked them into her pocket and began rubbing her hands up and down her thighs as if for warmth.

 

“Uh- just. Air. I think I need some air maybe? I don’t really… I swear I haven’t had ANYTHING to drink tonight, it’s just.” she shook her head. “I don’t know. I feel a little-“

 

“Overstimulated?” Lena finished for her.

 

“You too?” Kara gasped.

 

Lena’s lips curved up into another gorgeous smirk, which Kara was beginning to understand as her trademark. “No. I’m fine.” she stood up, graceful and fluid, her dress flowing around her, and offered Kara her hand. “I’ll be your rock.”

 

Kara’s body felt heavy as she let Lena pull her up, and then she was holding hands with her again, being led again. It felt like déjà vu from when they’d entered the room. And foresight at the same time. Like this was something that had happened a million times before and would happen a million times again. Kara’s chest ached so painfully she wanted to double over.

 

The veranda was made of stone and garnished with sculptures of Greek heroes and scholars. It looked like they’d been with the college for some time, or installed from someplace else, as they were as chipped and faded as real ancient art. Lena looked at home among them, sauntering elegeantly between their bodies and trailing her fingers over their shoulders. As if this were her party now, in the quiet moonlight, and these guests her familiar friends. Kara tried to stay close to her. She had a feeling that if anywhere was haunted, this mansion was.

 

“The stars are bright tonight.” Lena admitted, wide smile on her face.

 

“I’ve never seen them like this.” Kara agreed.

 

“Can you see at all?” Lena’s voice had a hint of an edge in it, playful but still dangerous, and Kara wondered what it would be like to be her enemy for a fleeting moment.

 

“What?”

 

Lena waved one slender finger around the area of her own eyes. “I noticed you took your glassess off.”

 

“Oh.” Kara said, having no plausible explanation to offer. Because really, why was she able to see perfectly, better than ever, in this moment when a few hours ago if she’d taken them off she’d have been stumbling into the Greek statues and apologizing profusely.

 

Lena shrugged, as if she didn’t want to push the matter, didn’t care enough. But she sidled up next to Kara so their shoulders brushed together. And pointed to the sky. Kara followed her finger, staring at the cluster of stars which had become so beautifully bright now that they were nearly blinding.

 

“There’s Andromeda.” the whisper against her ear caught Kara off guard and she jumped which made Lena snicker, self satisfied.

 

“And Cassiopeia” Kara raised her own hand to point. Lena raised an eyebrow at her approvingly. Kara smiled back smugly.

She trailed her fingers up Lena’s arms until her hand was over hers and guided her to point to another cluster. “And Perseus.”

 

“You know your astronomy. Color me impressed.”

 

Kara dropped their arms but let her hand linger over the other girl’s wrist. She could smell her perfume again. So vividly it was like a cloak wrapped around her, something tangible that she could bury her face against.

 

“Do you think there’s anything up there?” Lena’s voice was so soft it barely left her lips but Kara heard it. Kara thought she might be able to hear anything.

 

“In Space?”

 

“Just forget about it.” Lena’s laugh was lilting, soft as a breeze. “I’m in a silly mood tonight. I wonder what’s come over us.”

 

Kara looked back out at the sky. A helicopter or plane was a blinking red light in the far flung distance. It looked like it might collide with the stars around it. She wished it safe travels. And then pressed her lips against Lena’s.

 


	2. Amor vincet omnia

That should have been the end of everything before and the beginning of everything in the future. And in many ways it was. But life was never that simple.

 

In fact, Kara had a boyfriend.

 

“Wait… you’re breaking up with me? Just like that?” Mike gaped at her incredulously over coffee the next morning.

 

Kara shrugged her shoulders, exasperated.

 

“I’m so sorry, Mike. I just… I feel like things haven’t been working out for us. We got into this too fast and I just- I want to focus on my studies and-“

 

He was rolling his eyes, his leg bouncing under the table.

 

“This is unbelievable. I always knew you were flaky but-“

 

 _I’m not flaky_ , Kara mentally corrected him but just pursed her lips.

 

Kara had never had a boyfriend in high school. She hadn’t been looking to have a boyfriend in college. But Mike Matthews was… persistent. And he was _there_. They shared an english class together. Initially hit it off over a mutual love of Hemingway and matching reading glasses. “Chicks don’t usually dig him!” Mike had said which **_at the time_** had actually made Kara feel a small sense of pride. It was like Lena had said. She was an outsider. And Mike, who came off normal and down to earth, but owned a red Mustang and went snowboarding in Sweden every winter break, had seemed like an insider who was giving Kara the time of day. Who liked Kara. Thought she was cool.

 

The more time she’d spent with him, the more she’d realized how meaningless it was to be acknowledged as cool. It didn’t make her feel better about herself. Especially when it seemed she was only valuable on Mike’s terms.

 

Kara shrugged, suddenly not feeling sorry at all that she was doing this.

 

For a while it had felt like ‘this is what it’s supposed to feel like’. As she’d had no experience in romance before, it hadn’t seemed inherently wrong to her. She got along well enough with Mike. They could have conversations together- he could make her laugh, she could make him laugh. When they went on dates it was fun.

 

But she felt as though she’d been living in a dream when she’d thought that had been enough. And the first moment she’d laid eyes on Lena, she’d awoken from that dream.

 

“It’s not you. It’s me.” she said truthfully.

She’d been the one to initiate the kiss with Lena but she’d also been the one to break it off first. Reality had come crashing back for a moment and she’d been gripped with panic like she’d never felt before. Her eardrums felt like they were going to burst- everything was so loud even though she was standing outside on a veranda. It was like she could hear crickets chirping in the grass and an airplane going by fifty miles away and the party inside, all at full volume and it was making her head hurt. She wondered if she were hallucinating, if she was going crazy.

 

“I have to go” she mumbled, cupping her hands over her ears. Lena’s hand was on her arm. It was warm. She could hear two pulses. She thought one was hers, one was Lena’s. Tears were welling up in her eyes from the pain.

 

“Kara-“

 

“I’m sorry.” she’d turned away, starting for the door.

 

She’d half expected to have Lena chase after her, the prince going after Cinderella when she tried to flee at midnight. “When will I see you again?” the prince would implore, a dramatic flourish of his outstretched hand. But when she turned, Lena was leaning against the side of one of the Greek hero statues, serene and with her head tilted to one side.

 

“You know where to find me.” she said. And gave a small, sad, smile.

 

When she’d gone back to the manor, she’d tried to rush out of the door. And something very strange had happened. Her hand had gripped the door knob and it had crushed between her fingers. As if it were a piece of over ripe fruit. She stepped back, aghast. The golden knob was bent and disfigured in the shape of her fingers. Her head spun but she’d pushed herself forward, ignoring it, hyperventilating, and closing her eyes to push the sight of it from her mind. Her brain refused to accept it. It couldn’t be real, so it wasn’t.

 

But then, the night after she broke her ties with Mike, another unexplainable event occurred.

 

She dreamed of Lena Luthor.

 

Lena Luthor draped in white satin, an easy smile on her lips and green eyes twinkling. She dreamed of brushing her cheek against her bare inner thigh. Of kissing her there and then behind her knee, then her ankle. She dreamed of Lena’s hands through her hair.

 

And when she woke up her body was paralyzed. She looked down and swore she was elevated a foot off the bed.

 

You’re still sleeping, she assured herself. Just make yourself wake up.

 

But she couldn’t and soon her breath started coming out in desperate pants. She forced her eyes closed and willed herself to wake up. Then dropped back onto the bed with a thunk.

 

It wasn’t even shock that she felt. It was a sort of grim nausea. That the thing she’d been fearing for all her life, had finally come to pass. And there was only one person who she could receive answers from about it.

 

She figured the best place to look for Clark would be at the manor dorm. To her surprise the front door was unlocked and she entered with ease to find the front hall completely empty. Empty rooms seemed a thousand times more empty when they were large and old, she thought. Like all the spaces were filled up with ghosts and echoes.

 

And as she walked in, she heard a clacking noise from the other room as if it were the stirrings of a poltergeist.

 

The door to the study was open a crack and she peered in, nudging the door open with her shoulder.

 

Lex Luthor peered up at her, leaning across a pool table in the center of the room, the line of his shoulders elegant with his shirt stretching slightly across the planes of his back.

 

“Oh. Uh.” Kara fumbled. “Hi. The door was open a crack, sorry, I’ll-“ she made a vague gesture toward the door behind her and made an attempt to walk backward to leave, banging the back of her head on the door frame once.

 

Lex lined up his shot and knocked the billiard ball into the pocket with a loud crack before standing up straight.

 

“Kara Danvers.” he said, as if that sufficed for introduction. She paused in the doorway, her back still halfway out of the room. She wasn’t sure she felt safe without an exit at least two inches away.

 

She wondered if his sister had learned how to look at people from her brother. They both had it- the same haughty, unwavering, assessment in their eyes. From Lena it was more warm and curious, though. With lex it felt like a cat watching a mouse with the amusement of assured victory.

 

“I guess Clark’s never introduced us! I don’t know why!” Kara laughed nervously then bit her rambling off, knowing she’d already said too much and feeling a flush of shame rise to her face.

 

Lex just smiled at her calmly, quirking an eyebrow as if he knew exactly why he hadn’t been introduced yet, even if Kara herself wasn’t quite sure.

 

“Clark revels in with holding information from me.” Lex said with private amusement, averting his eyes from her as he lined up his next shot and knocked it in effortlessly. He smiled at the accomplishment.

 

“It’s not that” Clark’s voice from behind her made Kara nearly leap out of her skin. He smiled at her and then brushed past, entering the room with his hands in his pockets. “I’m worried you’ll be a corrupting influence.” it came out teasing but there was something of a dark challenge in his eyes as he directed the words at Lex, a thin smile playing across his lips.

 

“I’ll do my very best.” Lex said, circling around the pool table to stand next to Clark. Somehow they looked unexpectedly picturesque together. Clark, tall and broad with the marble cut, features of a warrior angel- the strong jaw matched with the wide blue eyes and full lips. Unavoidably beautiful to behold. Next to Lex who was whipcord thin, almost graceful with his long limbs carried with such a louche swagger. Unavoidably strange to behold. The stark line of his skull free of hair drew the eye immediately.

 

“Clark, I was wondering if I could talk to you.” Kara said. Clark’s eyebrows rose and he smiled easily.

 

“Of course.” he nodded his head toward the door. “Let’s go to the veranda.”

 

As he turned to leave, Lex watched them, raising one eyebrow at Kara before she fully turned to go.

 

“It was a pleasure to meet you.” he said.

 

“Yeah.” Kara said. “Er- nice to meet you too.” but Clark’s hand was already between her shoulder blades, gently pushing her out.

 

When they got onto the veranda, Kara asked if they could walk a bit further out- onto the lawn. She felt that all the statues would eavesdrop on them. The tickle of grass on her ankles was familiar in a way that was more unnerving than reassuring. Once again, she was walking with Clark by her side, the sun beating down on her face, and feeling to speak what was on her mind. Clark was watching her carefully. She’d been here a hundred times before.

 

“Clark, when I was a kid… You always used to say these ominous things to me.”

 

At that Clark barked out a laugh. “Did I? Like what?”

 

Kara turned and stared at him seriously and watched the smile drop from his face until it was eerily composed. A calmness of someone who knew what would happen next, even if he didn’t like it.

 

“What’s happened?” he said.

 

“I don’t know where to begin.” she mumbled, shaking her head and taking her glassess off. She held them up to him. “I don’t need these anymore. For one thing.”

 

Clark blinked at her, his face not betraying a thing.

 

“In fact, I’m pretty sure I can see….” she shook her head, rubbing her temples. “I don’t know what’s happening to me, Clark. But it’s something in my body. Something that isn’t right.”

 

When she was a child, she’d always known that there was something to be frightened of. Something lurkng just in her periphary that she was never quite able to see. And at some point the horror had set in that what everyone around her seemed scared of was her. Something about her. That was waiting to come forward. And she’d been the one to be kept out of the loop.

 

“Clark, what’s wrong with me? Who am I?”

 

Clark’s smile was sad. “You were always so content not to know who your birth parents were. You asked about it once when you were younger and then never again.”

 

Kara’s throat felt tight and she nodded. “I let everyone tell me whatever they wanted to tell me. I was scared to hear the truth. I was young. I started getting used to being lied to at an early age.”

 

“Yes.” Clark said softly, confirming her anxieties. “You did. You made it very easy.”

 

She wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, to demand answers. But she was paralyzed.

 

“What am I?”

 

“You and I are not from this world.”

 

Kara’s whole body was drawn tight from forgetting to breathe. Clark stared out at the skyline with his hands in his pockets. The sunlight reflected off his spectacles obscured his eyes.

 

“I landed in Kansas on a space ship.” Clark said, casually.

 

“What?” Kara laughed, all her breath coming out at once in a hysterical exhale.

 

“And then, a few years later, you arrived in a similar space ship.” He turned to her, his features devastatingly calm and free of humor.

 

“I’m…” she began and then couldn’t go on.

 

“You’re an alien. From a planet called Krypton. We are the last of our kind.”

 

Kara fell to her knees in the grass, her head swirling. Clark’s hand rested on her shoulder. But even the earth beneath her felt unreal now. Because it wasn’t hers. She wasn’t from here, she wasn’t even human….

 

“I found out when I was thirteen years old.” Clark went on. “That’s when my powers began to develop.”

 

“Powers…” Kara repeatedly numbly.

 

“I was never sure if you would have them too. But I imagine that that’s why you came to see me today.” He sat down in the grass next to her. “My senses, are much more highly tuned. I can see things other people can’t.”

 

“Hear things?” Kara whispered.

 

“Yes. I can see through walls or objects as well. Like an X-Ray. Have you had that?”

 

Kara shook her head, still unable to look at anything but a fixed point on the ground. “No… But I’m… my strength… I keep…”

 

“Yes.” Clark said. “Strength and invulnerability. My skin can’t be pierced and my body isn’t damaged even if subjected to things that would kill a normal person.”

 

Kara ran her hands over her face, wishing she could blink or breathe or feel anything at all but a sort of white noise humming.

 

“Why now? Why now?” her voice sounded hoarse, on the edge of tears. Clark seemed to mull over how he wanted to answer before speaking again.

 

“When I first started showing my powers, it was when I fell in love with a girl.”

 

Kara’s chest ached and she suddenly wished she could go back to feeling numb.

 

“Lana Lang. The girl next door.” Clark said with an easy fondness, nostalgia, that Kara hated him for. To be blasé when she was falling apart next to him. But that’s how it had always been. Everyone else, assured in their knowledge, and her, alone and confused. “She was my first kiss. And then the next thing I knew, I was burning a hole through the barn wall with my eyes.”

 

“Oh god.” Kara whispered under her breath, putting her head in her hands.

 

“That’s another power that we have. And it’s one you have to be careful of. Heat vision. That was the one that caused me the most grief. It would come on whenever I felt strong emotions. It took me over a year to get it under control. My parents had to practically homeschool me during that time.”

 

“This can’t be real.” Kara said.

 

“It is.” Clark assured her, once more with utter calm.

 

She turned over in the grass and curled her body up into the fetal position.

 

“You can never tell anyone.” Clark said after some time had gone by. Kara had had tears streaming down her cheeks for some time. Clark was watching the sun slowly droop to meet the horizon.

 

“Do my parents know?”

 

“Yes. But your sister does not.”

 

Oh, Alex. The person who she shared everything with. But in a way she was relieved. It meant that at least their relationship hadn’t been a one sided lie. Or at least, hadn’t been until now. She wasn’t sure what terrified her more. The thought of holding back the greatest secret of her life from the person she cared for most, or the thought of being rejected if she told her.

 

And what of Lena? The mysterious girl who had somehow enchanted her, maybe even brought this all about in some way. Triggered this landslide.

 

Kara turned her head to look at Clark.

 

“Does Lex know?”

 

“God, no” Clark laughed, easy and casual. Kara felt sick all over again.

 

“I thought you were in love with him” she mumbled, feeling her head spin.

 

The smile melted from Clark’s face and for a moment he looked wounded. He hung his head slightly and the tragic emotion that registered across his angel face looked maudlin, especially compared to the usual carefully composed repertoire of expressions he wore. He adjusted his glasses.

 

“I’d say you wouldn’t understand. But I guess now you do.” he said quietly. “Amor vincet omnia. ‘Love conquers all.’ But it doesn’t.”

 

Kara curled her knees further against her chest.

 

“Even if you love them with everything you have….” he went on, in barely a whisper. “You can never tell them. We have no choice but to bear this burden. But they don’t have to. They shouldn’t have to. You must understand that.”

 

And she did.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ( I'm hoping to write more chapters! there will be super powers in this fic, I know the backstory is very different than in the show. Also I love nice comments? thank you for reading if you've gotten to this author's note! )


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